Pandemonium : A year on.

Pandemonium : 


1. wild uproar or unrestrained disorder; tumult or chaos.
2. a place or scene of riotous uproar or utter chaos.
3. (often initial capital letterthe abode of all the demons.
4. hell.

Or, if you are a certain age you may understand the reference.. I’m just off to play a bit of Pandy for a bit.!

The original ToysForBob version…

I didn’t think that in 2021, I will refer to going out in a global pandemic in the same way, with such a kind of stoic humour. 
Since finishing my MA in creative application development in April, in which I managed to keep my head down enough to to focus on completing my final project while trying to stabilise the mothership, trying not to race to Derby and Plymouth to collect my children from Uni (respecting their decision to hunker down), and in supporting my husband who, day in day out has just got on with it. No fuss, not drama. Only those who knowing him better might see how the strain bear on him. He, quietly just doing his best for all his high risk, geriatric diabetic patients. 
Then, as the children rolled in from their University courses we breathed a sigh of relief. The kids are home. We wait for them to settle, we listen for them to tell us what they need and then quietly we provide support to help them move forward. How can we do this in a pandemic ? My daughter, solid yet empathetic like her father, applies to support adults with sever learning and communication disabilities iwhile my son, sensible, worldly and ‘chillaxed’ decides to skillup in his coding skills to do something he actually wants to do rather than to settle. 
Having spent my whole adult life raising children and building a home, giving myself the opportunity to reach an academic and creative level I am personally satisfied with, I count my blessings. Although, I may not fit with certain waves of modern feminism, I am a feminist none the less. I have never wanted a mans life, too much careers stress, too many financial worries, not enough holidays, too long a commute, too much wasted travel time, poisonous office politics, a hollow man in a hollow suit…  I don’t believe often a man wants that either. I wanted a balanced life of equal opportunities to grow. A happy life for all (yes, I know!) in many ways, I see this as one of the by products of the pandemic. 
So, when the pandemic hit, after sorting out my family and seriously assessing my skillset, I asked, Can I use my powers for good ? 
How do I go out and play Pandy for a bit ? Applying what I have learned on my app development course and in my creative career to help people in the middle of a global pandemic ? 
PPE Distribution & Stock Control 
Clinic Deep Clean & Infection Control 
Essential Clinical Training 
Vaccination Hotline 
Healthcare Assistant Recruitment – 
Lateral Flow Testing Kit Distribution 
As the world remains in the grip of an evolving virus, for me anyway, Hope is the most important thing. Hope is something we can find, we can use and we can offer to others. Through this process we find solace. 
I hope to continue to pick up skills and gain experience as I spin it around to help others in my immediate circle and wider community. Being hopeful, being inspired and being innovative requires a desire to find a sense of optimism in the darkest places. 
For me, personal development is not just about collecting certificates of paper, or acquiring new tools for the skillset backpack, it is more than this, for me anyway.  Having once been told, there is no point in educating a woman as she would just get married and have kids and stay at home, Educating myself and supporting that in others has become my own personal quiet rebellion. Yes, I have raised two fantastic children,  supported my husband as I work and study from home and do not have to apologise for that. I know that I am supported by my female peers to do just that. I am not ‘mum’ shamed. I am just quietly being the change I want to see in the world.  And the world has changed. 
My academic experience, both my BA illustration (now animation & Illustration), my MA Creative App Development (now UX Design and Indie Game Development) as well as my PhD research (Immersive Animation & UX) are more than just titles of academic achievement. They represent linear milestones of self-realisation embedded in a spiral process of personal growth. 
And the work it has produced.. well, 100,000 images, projection screens, kinetic sculptures, animated films, applications and games, much of which has yet to be published. Some might say I’m a late developer, I would say I was just waiting for the right environment. I am almost 50, and my time is now. Who said life was a race anyway ?
So as I begin to think about how I can use my powers for good in the world, I do not apologise to wanting to apply my practical skillset to create a life that has a higher ideal. 
There’s a storm coming… 
Flooding is.. well, just the tip of the iceberg… 
Seeing roses bloom in December is not ‘normal’. 
Ignoring the needs of other was never ‘acceptable’
Throwing old people on the scrap heap was always disgusting not to mention short sighted… 
Life may never go back to ‘normal’ 
So what could be coming next ? 
Pandemic Change 
Social Change 
Mental Health crisis 
Economic change 
Climate change 
Human geographic displacement 
Resource limitations 
Civil unrest 
I have a a number of apps in development at the moment, 
Helix: A living Research Thesis embedding Practice based visual research acquired in the triangulation between ecology, technology and creative practice. Located at the intersection between animation studies and video game theory,  the experimental work previously explored tensions between craft based material practice, virtual, digital production and immersive natural, uncontrolled spaces.  I am currently interested in virtual environment design and authorship in game engine produced animation for application in health and well-being. 
POD : virtual clinical training App 
Lunarium : A purely entertainment space to lose yourself for a bit, app. This project acts as an experimental playground in which to test the affordances and constraints of the unity game engine in the production of animated films and videogames. The narrative draws from the pandemic and basic human things. 
I also have some other creative projects on the back burner. 
13 Million